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Tag: success

The Key To Transforming Yourself by Robert Greene at TEDxBrixton 2013

A TED Talk A Day, Day 32: I vaguely recall watching this before, but I couldn’t remember it at all; This time it made a much more powerful impression on me.

The centrepiece of his argument is that we focus too much on the visible, and not enough on the internal journey that is require for self-transformation. And how to do we focus on improving ourselves from the inside? Counterintuitively, through our work, the area in which most people find problems.

  1. Many people have issues, but they often come down to wanting real and substantial changes in their lives.
  2. When Greene was young, he already knew he wanted to be a writer; he just didn’t know what type of writer. But he was advised early on not to be a writer, and that he was not “writer material”.
  3. Eventually he did realise that his career didn’t suit him as a way to make a living, and his worked reflect this. So he quit his job as a journalist and bounced around various jobs, still writing various forms (thought none of it got published).
  4. One day when a friend asked if he had any ideas for a book, all his experiences came together into an idea for a book (that become the 48 Laws of Power). Those varied experiences all gave him a broad scope of knowledge that allowed him to write the book — historical knowledge, the ability to tell stories, and knowing how to put research together, among others.
  5. We human tend to fixate on what we can see in front of us, that is our nature. When we look at transformations in other peoples’ lives, we see the visible signs of opportunity and success. But this is an illusion.
  6. What allows dramatic changes to occur is what happens on the inside. This is completely invisible. Such as the accumulation of knowledge and skills, and the ability to withstand criticism.
  7.  Any change in people’s fortunes is just a visible manifestation of that deep preparation over time. So if we ignore this internal change that is required, we will fail to change ourselves.
  8. So stop fixating to what other people are saying and doing about the money, the connections and the outward appearance of things.
  9. Focus instead on the smaller internal changes that lay the groundwork for large changes in fortune.
  10. It is the difference between grasping at an illusion and immersing yourself in reality.
  11. If each of us is unique, and when we are young we have what he calls “primal inclinations” that draw us to particular subjects. But over time we listen to other people that tell us what we should pay attention to instead, what is cool or not cool. This causes us to take paths that are not suited to us emotionally and intellectually.
  12. So reflect back on these early inclinations, and look at those subjects in the present that spark that child-like curiosity, and look at the subjects that repel you, that have no emotional resonance. From this, decide a direction you must take. This gives you a position to begin exploring. We must then continue to listen to our internal “radar”.
  13. With this internally-driven mindset, we do things differently: hours of practice are not so burdensome, we sustain our attention longer, the learning process excites us, and we are more present.
  14. The way to transform yourself is through your work. Instead we think self-transformation comes from spiritual journeys, therapy, gurus, intense group experiences. But most of these are ways of running away and are liked to boredom, and is disconnected from process.
  15. Work, however, allows us to connect with who we are instead of running away. And that slow organic process changes us in a way that is from the inside out and is very lasting. It can also be seen as quite spiritual, and we get to contribute something meaningful to the world.

Suggested action step: I will focus on changing myself on the inside, and focus on listening to myself and working on the things that excite me.

How Perception Of Failure Affects Success by Fred Colantonio at TEDxLiege

A TED Talk A Day, Day 10: An interesting, if slightly dry, talk about the difference how people who succeed view failure/success differently. I felt like there were some real gems here but unfortunately the speaker’s style left me wondering how I can actually practice this IRL, because logical understanding is one thing, but being able these values takes work.

  1. Throughout history humans have held firmly to beliefs that later turned out to be wrong. The people who succeeded also had to encounter these moments of realisation and/or failure, but what made them different is that they took advantage of these moments.
  2. All these people share one thing: they are the main character in their own stories. They are the heroes in their own story, overcoming obstacles and going on to succeed.
  3. The frameworks, patterns and process behind those who stray from social norms and become criminals, and those who break out to succeed in changing the world, are almost the same. They have similar perceptions of failure.
  4. People who think failure is bad, think it is absolute, and that failure in one area means they will be failures in all areas. They are sure that they are not capable of anything great. Failure is seen as universal and relentless, and which they cannot escape.
    1. This leads them to fear and avoid failure.
    2. They also use failure as an excuse not to try.
  5. Successful people also deal with failure, but to them it is part of the trip. Failure is seen as relative, unique to a particular situation and time.
    1. They see that failure concerns them and them only; they do not try to blame others.
    2. They don’t deny failure or their responsibility in it. Instead they use it to go beyond and succeed.
    3. So failure, to them, is adjustable. They can use today’s failure to build tomorrow’s success.
  6. “If you don’t learn to fail, you fail to learn.” – Tal Ben-Shahar
  7. Eventually failure is fuel for successful people — it drives and excites them.
  8. How do we change?
    1. Raise our standards: have high expectations of ourselves.
    2. Rethink our perception of failure: “Failures are not absolute; they are are relative. They are not permanent; they are temporary. They are not opposed to success; they are entirely part of it.”
    3. Take care of resources: We can all be the main character in our stories. (This point wasn’t presented clearly)
  9. They question is not whether we will succeed or failure, but if we will stick around long enough to turn our failures into success. Life is less about what happens to us but what we do about what happens to us.

Suggested action step: When I encounter failure or challenges, I will ask myself how I can adjust and proceed. What in the situation is causing the failure?

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